I probably should wait to post this in the morning.
But I don’t want to forget.
I dont want to forget how God is true to His promises..
God promises us to give us hidden treasures in the darkness, stored in secret places.
I am seeing how God meets us in our darkest hours and gives us His secret love, teaches us Secret things we did not know about Him
These have been dark hours penetrated with the light of God.
A hard.. long.. terrible.. wonderful. 15/actually now 16 days.
Watching the Daddy I love more then anything in the world suffer.. terribly.
The medicine (arsnic) dripping into His veins to kill the cancer causing him to suffer deeply.
Today another bone marrow biopsy–
rough day watching Him suffer.. wishing i could trade places… wondering how much longer this desert….
But God comes.
He gives treasures in secret places.
I sent mom to my house to get rest.. she did not want to .. but I made her. (i am so not intimidating ha.. i don’t know if i told her i would ground her or what.. but it worked) because she had long night with no sleep last night. so I stayed here in my Dad’s room at the hospital.
He was resting at first
But about 2 am he woke up in such pain.. so weary.. physically, mentally..
And so I grabbed my laptop and did what only knew to do.. we worshipped.
He asked for the Revelation song by Kari Jobe. so I played it.
And Jesus came.. His spirit came. and we somehow moved from the oncology ward with beeping iv’s where my dad’s body in so much pain he cannot move and can barely speak— we moved into the holy of holies.
Jesus came and sang over us.
Worthy is the lamb who was slain.. holy holy is He.
Then on to Christ alone– In Christ alone, I’ll take my stand.
The power in the blood of Jesus.
Oceans by Hillsong United playing over and over: Spirit take us where our trust is without border let us walk upon the water.
And my Dad would grab my hand and occasionally be able to lift his feeble hand with mine. His hand bruised and torn by iv’s. His arm covered i needles/bruises/pain..
and we lifted our hands together.
And I sang.
And his heart sang even when He couldn’t.
I am learning worship is the most deep wonderful gift when it is the darkness– because God’s light comes!
It was probably the most powerful worship I have ever experienced next to the night when we worshipped in the waiting room when they told us dad would not live through the night.
I/You have a God who can turn any place into the Holy of Holies.
I don’t want to forget this night.
How My Dad took all his pain.. and i took the pain of watching His pain to the altar of sacrifice and declared Jesus is Lord even if, EVEN WHEN, Even as
Even if the days are still dark
Even when the pain is overwhelming
Even as we walk through the fire